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[02 Apr 2010|01:34am] |
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There was a bloke dressed as a pirate on the subway today. Just hanging out as though it was perfectly normal. Which, it might be for him. Who the fuck knows. But I guess was distracted enough by this amusement that I left my fucking glasses on the seat. Why I set them there, I don't know, but that's where they stayed when I reached my stop. So now I'm going to have to go in and get my eyes checked before I can get another pair. It's only been...three years since I've gone? I figured as long as the glasses worked when I needed them, I shouldn't have to worry about that. The eye doctors around here seem to think otherwise, greedy bastards.
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[25 Feb 2010|07:15pm] |
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My fifteen-month-old answered my mobile phone yesterday. I don't know who it was, since I didn't recognize the number. But it rang, and she reached, picked it up, opened it, and said 'hello' before shutting it again. It was actually quite amusing. Apparently she's much more dexterous than her brother was at that age.
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[11 Feb 2010|08:56pm] |
I've got the worst fucking cold of my life. You'd think I'd be used to this kind of weather, but you'd be sadly mistaken. I don't mind a bit of snow every now and then. But when it blankets the entire northern hemisphere, that's taking it a bit far. Where the fuck is Al Gore now? Global warming, my ass. I'm still working, so never you fear. I've got too much tax shit to take care of to miss much work. And as I've said for the past couple of years: No, I will not do your tax returns. Go buy a TurboTax disc and do it your damn selves.
Oh, and yay, Valentine's Day on Sunday. That was said without a hint of sarcasm, of course. Me and the wife are going to see a Broadway show. How exciting. We got tickets to see Hair, which I've stalwartly refused to see until absolutely necessary. But this is the easiest way to make her happy, I guess, since she's been bugging the shit out of me to see it.
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[28 Jan 2010|07:59pm] |
I finally saw 'Avatar' the other day. Eh, it was all right. Not the best movie I've ever seen, but it was all right. I came home and found more amusing things on the internet. One of which is this video here. I've been watching this and Craig Ferguson clips all day.
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[09 Jan 2010|12:57am] |
I tried to think of something more interesting to put here, but I'm afraid I couldn't think of anything. My boring domestic life doesn't allow for much grand adventure anymore, I'm afraid. With a wife and two kids at home, it's mostly work work work. Yawn, I know. My exciting plans for tomorrow involve taking my oldest brat around town for 'bonding' time. And trying to make sure I can catch some highlights of the Manchester United match.
And I've got a doctor's appointment on Monday. Just in time for my birthday, so I suppose it's a 'thirty-six year check-up'. I'm sure you're all so concerned for my health.
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[26 Dec 2009|05:52pm] |
I survived my mother-in-law's visit, for those of you that care. She's a very meddlesome woman. My daughter is barely a year old, and she's already pestering us about when we're going to have another. Personally, I don't think we could survive another pregnancy. I had to tell her that I was sure we'd decided we were done with kids. She didn't like that answer very much. But fucking seriously? Let us at least housebreak the little one before we think about any more. I can't stand her, really. Nosey woman.
Otherwise, the holiday was fan-fucking-tastic. The older brat loved his gifts. Which didn't include one of those creepy-ass Zoo hamster things. Luckily my kid has better taste than that.
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[08 Dec 2009|10:27am] |
It's Christmas-time. Whoo. This is the time when I get drug around to various stores that I have no desire to be at. Buying gifts for people I either don't know or don't give two shits about. I like buying for the kids. It means I get to go in Toys R Us and act a fool. My mum, however, is all upset that we won't be coming home for the holiday. Even though we were just fucking there. Kathlyn's mum is coming for a visit though. This will be her first visit as my mother-in-law. Oh fucking boy. I can't wait.
And yeah, yay Christmas party. At least we had the budget for it, thanks to our lack of other usual parties. Maybe I'll go. Maybe I won't.
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[21 Nov 2009|07:26pm] |
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I've been watching television all day. Yes, I'm being a lazy bum. I could almost get used to it. You know, if I didn't have so much shit I have to do on a daily basis. I'm sure I'll pay for it tomorrow when I've got to play catch-up. But right now? It's all about catching up on random Doctor Who episodes and watching a marathon of this show called "The Big Bang Theory" that I've discovered. I'm not sure how I've missed it this long, as it's downright amusing.
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[30 Oct 2009|07:02pm] |
We carved pumpkins today with the bigger brat. He wanted to carve one that looked like a monster, but he couldn't get the saws to cooperate. So he made a typical jack o'lantern and I made the monster one. It's oh-so cute, hee hee. Tomorrow I've got to take him around Trick or Treating, and deal with the woman down the road preaching that all of us are going to hell for celebrating the Devil's holiday. Or some shit like that. She was out there last year, and I've been told she's done it every year since her husband died. Or he probably offed himself from having to deal with her for so long. That's my theory, at least.
Oh, and I almost had a heart-attack today at work. I was doing the ledgers, which are oh-so boring and all of that. Imagine balancing your checkbook multiplied by a thousand. Do you guys realize how much money is spent each month on staplers and paperclips? Not that much, but moving on. I had just finished a preliminary run through the month's expenses and was somehow coming up short about a thousand dollars. Which is pretty significant. Long story short, I found the receipts I needed tucked away in a folder from last month, after about an hour of searching and wondering how the hell I'd been off so much.
That's my semi-interesting story for the day.
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[09 Oct 2009|06:18pm] |
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So my brat tested positive for swine flu today. Not the little one, since that would upset even me. Jack wasn't feeling well Wednesday, but was still running around and playing with his damn dog all afternoon. Thursday he didn't want to do anything, and he had a fever. We couldn't get it to break, so we took him to the doctor today. And there we go. My kid is a walking infectious disease. He's actually feeling pretty good today. The fever broke and he's starting to drink and eat a bit on his own. Kathlyn and Evie have gone to stay with a friend of hers while all this goes down, since we really don't want the baby exposed more than she's already been. So I'm the lucky one who gets to deal with a sick kid. Yay me. Oh yeah, that would be why I'm not in the office today, if any of you cared to notice.
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[26 Sep 2009|11:06pm] |
A friend of mine had her baby recently. You might remember Millie. Anyway. It turned out to be a boy, so yay for them. No comment on whether or not the child has ginger hair. We don't want to fuel any rumours.
My kids are fine. Jack is turning into a little perfectionist. To the point where he gets pissy if something he does isn't as 'perfect' as he thinks it should be. I've been told this is just a phase and he'll get over it. He's enjoying school, generally. Save for the waking up early bit. Evie is crawling all around the house; she especially likes to follow Jack around. He used to hate it, but now he kind of likes it. And since I know people like baby pictures, HERE is one my wife took last week. As you can see, she so far seems to have my hair. Poor thing.
There. A boring update about kids.
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[06 Sep 2009|06:37pm] |
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It's so fucking cold in my house. Maybe it's not the house and it's just me. I've already turned off the A/C and the fans and everything, but my hands are still as cold as ice. And that was hours ago that I turned things off. Maybe I'm getting sick. It could be swine flu; watch out, everyone. Seriously, I read that their expecting that half the US population will come down with that shit. Then again, I think people are making a much bigger deal of it than it actually is. If you get treatment and take care of yourself, it's not much worse than any other kind of illness. Just stay away from me if you think you've got it. I can't have either kid getting sick. I'd have to miss work to watch them.
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[22 Aug 2009|07:47pm] |
I got my brat a dog. The big brat, of course, not the baby. She's still a little young to be picking up shit from the backyard. We're still housebreaking that one. But yes. We got a dog from the shelter, and he's actually not been a bad little creature so far. He's already housebroken, which was great, since I don't feel like dealing with that. No name so far; Jack's still tossing names around. Hopefully he doesn't pick anything ridiculous.
Oh, and we're looking for a new place to live. It's gotten a bit crowded, we've since decided. Oh, the fun of navigating the real estate market.
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[15 Aug 2009|03:58pm] |
Rosalyn, I got you a pair of boxers. You will be amused with them. Or you will pretend to be, since you specifically asked for them, and I searched and searched to find the damn things. And the excuse 'they're not for me', works in England just as well as it does here. As in, not at all. Of course, Jack wanted a pair too, so we had to hunt him down a pair of flag boxers.
England was fantastic. It rained and was dreary for most of the time, which brings back such nostalgia. Though from what I heard, the weather in New York wasn't much better. Still, it was good to see the family again and all that. Evie spent most of her time with my mum, who is quite glad to have a granddaughter now. She claims to not play favourites, but it's obvious. Poor Jack. Kicked to the curb by his own grandmother. That's all right; he'll recover. I'm taking him to see some musical show on Broadway to make up for it. It's got farting and burping, so he'll love it.
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[25 Jul 2009|10:45pm] |
England is fantastic. I don't know why I ever left. Unless you count the dreary weather. That might be enough to make anyone run for the next country that would take them. Jack's happy to see his grandparents, and they're pleased to see him and Evie. I suppose they're happy to see me too, but no one cares about that.
We're actually in London now. We spent the first week back home in Brighton, but now we're taking Jack to do some sightseeing in the city of his birth. Not that the little bastard remembers very much. He did enjoy riding the London Eye though, and very vaguely remembered it from before.
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[03 Jul 2009|10:32pm] |
Well, I'm going to England in two weeks. I know, I know, you guys will miss me so damn much. I'm a bit sorry to say that I won't miss any of you a bit. I haven't been home in ages, as my dear mum loves pointing out. She also likes to point out that I haven't seen my sister in quite a long time. It might surprise her that I'm not terribly fond of my sister. We've got a long history, she and I. But I'm not going into that, as much as I'm sure you people would love to hear about our torrid Reynolds family history.
Unfortunately for the company, we don't currently have another accountant to cover for me and take care of things. This, of course, means I'll have plenty of work when I return. Which I so can't wait for, let me tell you. No, really. I sit here playing iPhone apps too much. Interesting, isn't it? People complain that companies just aren't hiring anymore. Yet this company consistently has new positions opening up all the time.
Oh, and no, I'm not going to be waving little American flags and getting pissed tomorrow. Well, I might be getting pissed, but not for your holiday. Which, like TJ, I have neighbours who obnoxiously love pretending to be patriotic during the holidays. Plus they like flirting with my wife, so I'm afraid we will not be hanging out at their little party even if our lives depended on it.
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[15 Jun 2009|11:13pm] |
My brat wants a puppy again. I'd thought he'd gotten over it, but apparently he's having a relapse. I told him I'd think about it, which, as he pointed out, is an improvement over the 'hell no' I gave him last time. Fucking kid is smart, I tell you. Obviously takes after his mother. But I think I will actually consider it this time. He's a pretty good kid, so he might remember to feed it every now and then. And hell, when I was seven, I had a dog. And I sort of figure with what he's been through lately, he sort of deserves a damn dog.
Oh, and it's official. Pending approval from all those bossly types, I'm going back to England next month. Visit the mother and the motherland. Because apparently my mum thinks she should meet Evelyn. Of course, if you meet one baby, you've met them all.
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[26 May 2009|10:01pm] |
I spent the weekend with my family. Since, you know, I couldn't do that during the week because of playing 'Survivor' in the wilderness. I wouldn't want either of those kids to forget who I am. I worked too hard at corrupting them.
But yes. We've made some plans, and we're going back to England. Who wants to watch Jaws for us while we're gone?
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[11 May 2009|09:40pm] |
My kid's birthday is coming up. No, not the baby. Time hasn't flown by that fast, thank fucking god. My favourite one. The one that can do more than just cry and muck up a nappy. He'll be seven, if you can believe it. I'm still coming to terms with it myself. His birthday is on the 18th, but we'll be doing some of that celebrating stuff on the 16th. At a skating rink. Of all things, the little bastard wanted to do that for his birthday party. But since he's my favourite, I decided to do as he wanted. So skating it is. If any of you have got kids that would want to come, feel free to show up. But make sure to bring gifts for Jack, otherwise you can just forget it and go home. It's his party, after all. Think of it as a cover charge.
In other news, I'm still staying at the hotel. Which is actually pretty nice. We're still working shit out, so maybe I'll be back home by New Year's. Or maybe I'll be divorced. Who fucking knows.
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